I recently saw a good old friend; the kind of friend who I hadn’t seen for over a year, but, as we always do, we were able to just pick up where we left off in this shit show that is “life.” It seems that we are both going through some hard times. Her hard times are a lot harder than mine and yet she is still making the extreme effort to help pick me up from the dirt and mud and shit. Gotta love those good old friends (and we do).
When I lost my job 2.5 months ago, I was devastated. I still am, sadly. It wasn’t even a job I liked. It kept me up at night and kept me in bed in the mornings with the dread of a thousand panic attacks. But it was a job. It wasn’t that unemployment check that you hope gets directly deposited each Wednesday without any hiccups (and trust me, with this unemployment system, there are some serious fuck ups…. but I digress. That is a blog post for another day).
Before my last day at my crappy job for the worst person I have EVER met, I used my last week to think about a lot of stuff. I got a tax ID for a business, printed a bunch of resumes, organized my work computer, and made myself a to-do list (among other things). It’s on a hot pink extra large post it note.
After visiting with my old friend, I literally rummaged through a closet to find this tiny scrap of paper. I read it now and laugh at how hopeful I was. I do remember feeling like unemployment would be like a summer vacation. Unfortunately, it’s not. And being just above broke during the summer in New York City really depresses the shit out of even the most hopeful of optimists.
So… Without further anticipation, since I know you want to know what I was thinking 2.5 months ago….
Below is the list. I have added commentary for your enjoyment because I love you.
That’s my Captain Clam. He’s the love of my life, so naturally I’d “do” him. No more information is necessary.
Visit the Girls
I have friends scattered throughout the world. Two of my faves are Westerly. One in Austin, TX and the other in Los Angeles, CA. I am dying to see them and miss them terribly. I send them snail mails with small tokens of my affection, like seeds and giant erasers. No one ever writes back. They have real jobs and are busy.
Climb a Hill
I’ve gotten fat and need the exercise. Plus, I want to see the top of the world.
Fly a Kite
Fun. Enough said.
Um, Make a Kite
Captain Clam bakes. But it’s too hot this summer, so I think this one will wait until the fall.
Photograph at Least 10 Strangers
This is my favorite to-do item. I have been inspired by my bravery 2.5 months go and have been out taking photos. I have yet to photograph anyone with their permission, but I am working up to it and am starting a beautiful project that will no doubt make me famous and adored by all. No. I’m kidding. It will just make me happy. This project will have the shit blogged out of itself, so stay tuned.
Seriously ladies, we all have one. Unfortunately, I am too broke for threading these days. BUT I did get a tan and the sun has bleached it and I am happy enough with the results. Mustache removal is up there with baking…. waiting until autumn.
Start a Business
Unemployment forbids it. They want to make you suffer for being an entrepreneur. Corporate America is a curse on Humanity. This one will have to wait. Sorry, etsy.com.
Get out of Town
Self explanatory. Who wants to host me and Captain Clam? And who want to cat-sit?!
Well, duh, what better way to ward off stress. And seriously, I got me some pipes. No joke.
Yoga 4x Weekly
Ha! yeah right.
I actually did this one. The great purge of 2013. Was simultaneously rewarding and sad. Sigh*
Sing in the Subway —> Start a Band
Two dreams joined together by an arrow on my small, hot pink post-it. This dream will come true one day. For now, it stays on the hot pink post-it. But I am up for collaboration, so BRING IT.
Sunbathe Topless on the Roof
Yeah, maybe in about 30 pounds! Yikes. I still might do this soon, so cover your eyes!
Did that, but I think I need another one. Waiting for fall again! I’ll learn to bake and remove my mustache at the same time. woohoo!
Not even sure what this means. Probably a pedicure. Yeah… too broke for all that, but I definitely purchased polish, so perhaps I will ask Captain Clam to hone his painting skills this week.
Yum. What a goal.
Does a $2 scratch off count? I won my money back!
I have done extensive job searches and have even inquired to jobs that I am not qualified for to see if the need volunteers. No answer. Assholes.
So, on the back of the paper, It seems I scribbled some wine induced “to-do” items. They are as follows:
Tie-Dye Blanket or Socks.
Yeah. Those would all be nice.
So here it is. I am sure to add to this list and am trying to not feel pathetic.
Job loss is so depressing. It’s hard to get up and shower and get dressed. I haven’t worn make-up in at least a month. It’s like a bad break up. But life goes on. Oh Blah Dee Oh Blah Dah. Blah being the key word.
So here I am… bored out of my fucking face and yet completely inspired by my good old friend and a little piece of hot pink paper. It’s all clear to me now. I will be okay.