What a fucking day.
Work was insanely busy. I met Thad Hayes (from behind plexi-glass), who I am somewhat enamored with after working with him for over 8 years at 3 different companies (and he has no idea who I am or how busy he made my day today (and Monday through Wednesday (and most likely tomorrow))).
I walked a thousand miles from West 18th street to East 34th Street to meet captain Clam for burritos and beer at Blockheads. While waiting for my sweet Crustacean to arrive, I sat outside talking to one of my best pals in all of the land when I hear this annoying sound. I looked left and there is Banksy’s moving installation driving by. I was so damn excited that I almost shit myself (kidding).
Sirens of the Lambs – Banksy NYC 2013
I shared a few beers and bowls of chips with the Clam before his meeting tonight and then wandered into Duane Reade to get money. I came out with $20 from the ATM and $40 of merchandise. Damn You Duane Reade! I walked to the 6 train on Park and 33rd and headed to Union Square to transfer to the Q, all the while trying to figure a different route home because I HATE THE Q TRAIN! I somehow managed to get a seat that was suspiciously empty on a train packed with people. I soon figured out why.
The man to my right was passed out in what appeared to be summertime gym clothes. The man to my left was in and out of consciousness. He kept falling asleep on me and letting his hand fall (only just a little) onto my leg. I would scooch over a little more and he would widen his legs and be all up on my shit. He stared at me just about the entire ride home speaking to me in Spanish. Once he started trying to guess my name, I told him to please leave me alone. He told me that I sound like his girlfriend and that he left her alone and wanted to know if I knew where she was. When he was in one of his sleeping modes, I took a good look and there it was… his pants were covered in semen and cashew crumbs.
Now I am home, exhausted, broke, and traumatized… about to go jump in a hot lavender bath with a 40 oz of Ballantine Ale to help me ponder the lessons that I learned today.
#1: Thad Hayes is way more handsome than his bio picture makes him out to be.
#2: Banksy is awesome and deliciously creative.
#3: Don’t go into Duane Reade after a few beers (or ever because no matter what THEY WILL GET YOU!).
#4: Sometimes it is worth it to stand on the commute home and tell the story from a spectators point of view.
#5: Train spectators make excellent allies.
Happy Fucking Thursday.