Autumn, Life, New York City, summer

Life After Summer

I have been asleep since early July. Of course I don’t actually mean that I have literally been sleeping for four months, but my writing has been dormant for that amount of time. I had no intention of taking the summer off from blogging. In fact, I have a few posts in the queue, but, as with most of my work, they are all unfinished. I suppose I needed a little break from my digital life, but now I find myself gobbled up by October and I can’t help but wonder where the summer went.

Captain Clam and I had a productive summer. I have a one million word blog post about our road trip summer vacation, but alas, the screen on my computer has failed and I can neither finish the story nor can I access my pictures, feeding into the duration of my online absence. I assume that everyone wants to know all of the details from our adventures spanning from Niagara Falls to Atlantic City (or Atlantic Shitty, as it should be called), and see the photos and videos, but you must wait! Hopefully, only a little bit longer.


A sneak peek of our July Road Trip. Seneca Lake at Sampson State Park.

I found that after we returned from our frolics, it took a few weeks to readjust to life back in the city and at work. I would plan fake vacations every chance I had, and wanted to talk to everyone (well, most folks) that I came across. I would have small daydreams about the Living Social deal to Road Trip Ireland (starting $899 with airfare!!) or a daycation in the city tasting cheeses, painting at a bar, and hovering above the city in a helicopter. The summer and all things vacation has been very hard to shake. I now have the travel bug and my credit card is paying dearly for it.

This fall is already proving to be a busy time for us. Every weekend in October is already infused with excitement. The first Sunday was spent out at my parent’s home in Long Island. Last weekend we hosted ManMadeOceans. I have known him for well over 10 years, and catching up was the easiest thing I’ve done in a long time. The weekend was dedicated to music and friendship. We went to a metal concert, a jazz show, and even sang karaoke. Once again, I must confess that my wallet is holding protest, as it should.

rock concert

Amaranthe at Terminal 5 on 10/10/14

Next weekend, the Captain and I are off to Napa for a wedding. I have never been to the west coast and am ridiculously excited to be there. We are first visiting San Francisco for a few days and have reserved a room at Kev’s House via airbnb. My Clam lived there for 5 years while he was in art school and has volunteered to be my tour guide (and chauffeur!) while we are there. I have also never rented a car before, so even before we leave the airport, adventure awaits us!


Kev’s place

The last weekend of the month we are heading to Florida (another place I have never been) for another wedding. The eldest Clam Brother (and his three gorgeous kids) is getting remarried to a lovely woman (they’re Captain Morgan and coke people). They live in Wisconsin, so I don’t blame them for having a destination wedding in Florida. I suppose it is their way of  preparing for the long, cold Wisconsin winter. But let’s not think about winter just yet!

I am finally (at last!) starting to feel autumn creep in like a sneaky breeze that hurls your hair into your lipstick. I have banished my feet to be confined in closed shoes, wearing flip flops only for housework. Neglected and squooshed, my toes are struggling to adjust. My legs are also hairy. So hairy that any razor to come near these beasts is doomed. I have started the shaving boycott a little earlier than expected this year. Fall is not a dress season for me, thankfully.

I have switched out my facial SPF 15 moisturizer and my body lotion to Cocoa Butter so I can smell like hot chocolate when I leave the house in the morning. My blow dryer is being exercised regularly (although it is somehow missing after a fun weekend of entertaining my old friend). I am just about ready to have Le Clam store the air conditioner for the winter, hoping that the next time we need to take it out, it’s well into July.

My tan has faded and I have the full pale and pasty winter complexion happening at full force. With the sun setting so early and rising so late, I fear that I will never see it again. Ok, that’s a little too melodramatic, even for me. I suppose this year I am not clinging all that much to summer. Not like last year when I wrote I Love You, Summer. I was not ready to let go last summer. This year is different.


Later, bitch.

As much as I am not looking forward to the frozen hell I know the Northeast is in for this winter, I revel in the crisp air and colors of the season. October and November are a calm place to be before the storm of ice and wind and relentlessly low temperatures. The weather is perfect for weekend drives with the windows down and the heat blasting. The smell of burning leaves overflows my nostalgia, and I remember the days of my former life that I am convinced I didn’t actually have. I happen to love and look good in sweaters, so that, too, is a plus.

I am letting go of summer as I know she will return. I will think of her fondly and greet her with the same joy and anticipation that I have when I see my family or an old friend. I have not given up on her. I have simply stopped holding on.

Oh, and I also can’t wait for the upcoming travel binge. I’ll be sure to take lots of pictures and tell you all about it.



Adventure, FUN!, Journal, joy, Lent, Life, New York City, Project, small joy, Spring, summer, Thank You

small joy: another 40 days

When I started this next 40 days, I was considering not doing this project anymore. I was bummed out about all sorts of different things, like my job, my family, my life… and was just feeling especially down on myself (I am my worst critic). Then Captain Clam told me that he was inspired by my Small Joy posts to make a conscious effort to do one good thing a day. So, I once again felt obligated to trudge on with the project. I hate to write it that way, but that’s how I am feeling some days. It is nice to know, however, that these small little specs of my life can affect my readers, even my special little Clam.

So here we go again on this journey. I hope these next 40 days bring you joy.


Day 81: House guests from Wisconsin.

Day 82: Getting caught in the rain.

Day 83: Double Date Picnic in Central Park.

Day 84: Going out to  “move the truck” to the other side of the street and ending up in Connecticut.

Day 85: THIS example of joyful living.

Day 86: Took 2 hours to almost get home and Captain Clam picked my up from 125th street, then our super neighbors came over with surprise pork chops!

Day 87: Received a photo update on Max. He is thriving in his new home! yay!


Day 88: Talking to my sister.

Day 89: Finally starting that art project I have been meaning to get to.

Day 90: Discovering a half bag of uneaten all natural licorice in my purse!

Day 91: Getting hit on by the cute guy behind the cold cut counter. Ooh la la!

Day 92: Watching the sunset after a rainstorm.

Day 93: Woke up after dreaming about being in a pet store…for the entire night! Captain Clam and I adopted bunnies and kittens and a dog name Hubert. Best dream ever!

Day 94: A new dress.

Day 95: Farmer’s market flower shopping for Saturday gardening.

Day 96: Sleeping in past 8am.

Day 97: Feeling ridiculously sexy for no reason.

Day 98:  Receiving mail.

Day 99: Dinner Date with wine and oysters.

Day 100: Helping a neighbor with groceries and getting an ice pop in return!

Day 101: World War Z.

Day 102: Almost burning the apartment down warming up taco shells = NEW TOASTER OVEN!

Day 103: Ran into Ice T at the Bronx Ignites Street Fair.


Day 104: Netflix Binge OITNB!

Day 105: A Strangers “Good Morning.”

Day 106: Hamburgers, Hot Dogs, and a House Guest.



Day 107: The hottest day of the Spring.

Day 108: Inadvertent half day at work.

Day 109: Getting my floor repaired, and that moldy leak in the bathroom (at last!).

Day 110: Helping a stranded driver push his car out of traffic.

Day 111: Greasy Diner Food.

Day 113: Talking to my dad about his flower pots.

Day 114: Petting a puppy first thing in the morning!

Day 115: Six “Good Morning’s” before I got to the train this morning.

Day116: Captain Clam’s Birthday!

Day 117: Butt Dialing My Sister.

Day 118: Waking up to a clean apartment and coming home to the best house guests ever!

Day 119: Leaving a bagel with cream cheese for a homeless person sleeping on the street.

Day 120: Watching a lady talk to and feed the squirrels in Union Square.

Have 40 more days passed already? For a while there I was too bummed out to do this everyday and kept having to go back and try to remember something amazing. Then I decidedly got my shit together, and life somehow became a little easier. I also started to follow Captain Clam’s lead (which you can see some of in these past 40 days), and started bringing small joys to the lives of other people.

How do you bring joy to your world?









Adventure, prose, summer

I Love You, Summer


I wore black today to mourn the end of the summer. I was so sad that I cried a little, but then I went outside and it was hot as balls. The calendar also tells me that we have at least 3 more weeks of summer, and I am sure a New York City Indian Summer is just what the doctor ordered, so no fretting, friends. The summer is not yet over.

As of tomorrow I am still going to wear flip flops. I will probably still wear flip flops until December, when it finally sinks into my brain that the summer is indeed over and that the days are actually getting longer (it is the only way to stay sane when you wake up before the sun rises and get home after it sets). I will also still wear white (because I am pretty sure nobody cares). I will still sweat profusely and might even get my ass to the ocean to dip my toes in it for the first time in a long time.

The summer is not over. I will definitely still eat barbecued food items and wear little to no make-up everyday. I will still pound beers like it’s 90 degress (um, because it is and I really like beer) and stay up late trying to hear the crickets. I will still wear cotton dresses and keep up with shaving my legs. I will still get mosquito bites and crank my A/C on full blast when I am home. I will beg for rain via dancing and look for fireworks towards the southern sky. I will still go up to the roof to watch the planes fly by and listen to my neighbors do their dishes and watch their tv’s and play with their children.

I will still sit on my fire escape admiring what used to be my flower garden before the Squirrels came and started burying their winter stash and eating my sunflowers. I will still go for walks and bike rides with Captain Clam, taking pictures of whatever comes my way.

I will still treat every party I go to like it’s the 4th of July and I will pet every single dog that crosses my path (they totally want me to pet them). I will still ride in a cab with the windows down and wander around slowly through the booths at the Union Square Farmer’s Market. I will let summer linger in my mind because the next 75 days will be the poetic dance of Summer’s desperate plea to hold onto itself.